


Like an Old Married Couple

by PJOfanatix



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Banter, Canon Era, Dorks in Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, they bicker like an old married couple, they're just in denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:41:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26134375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PJOfanatix/pseuds/PJOfanatix
Summary: “What?”“Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it?”“What is?”“They sound just like you two.”In which Merlin, Arthur, and the knights take refuge in an old married couple’s home, but the couple’s bickering sounds surprisingly like Merlin and Arthur’s…
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 639





	Like an Old Married Couple

It had been over a week since they started patrolling the woods and to no avail. An especially bad group of bandits had been targeting the people of Camelot and regardless of which decrees Arthur sent out, it had not stopped. So, of course, Arthur’s next plan had been to stalk out the bandits himself.

“When will this _end_?” Gwaine groaned, stretching out on his bedroll. “I haven’t been to a tavern in ten days, you know. There’s only so much a man can take.”

“Patience,” Arthur said slowly, keeping a careful eye out for any movement in the bushes. “You think I’ve wanted to only eat Merlin’s rabbit stew every day for the past week? We’re all suffering here.”

“Hey!” Merlin protested. “At least I can make stew. If it were up to Arthur to cook, we would’ve starved by the third day.”

Before Arthur could respond with a biting retort, a loud crash came from the trees behind them. Merlin whipped around, Percival brandishing his sword next to him, and dared to take a step closer.

“Who goes there?” Arthur asked. “I order you to show yourself.”

A bit more scuffling later, an old man and woman stepped out from behind the trees. Too busy arguing with each other, they didn’t even notice the army of knights pointing swords at them until Arthur cleared his throat.

The man let out a surprised gasp and dropped his crossbow, falling to his knees. “I’m so sorry, my lord, we did not realize. We were simply out hunting and gathering food for dinner today evening.”

“As if you can call it hunting! We haven’t caught a thing all day,” the woman muttered, also on her knees.

The man narrowed his eyes. “Well, if you hadn’t been so noisy gathering your berries, we could have caught that deer ten minutes ago!”

Arthur let out an exasperated sigh, lowering his sword and gesturing to the knights to do the same. “That’s enough now,” he chided. “Who are you and where is your village?”

“I am Margaret and this is my husband, Henry. We are from a small town just that way.” She pointed to her left where the sun had begun setting. “We honestly did not mean to intrude, sire.”

“That’s quite alright.” Arthur raised a hand and gestured for Margaret and Henry to rise. “Have you had a slew of bandit attacks on your village lately?”

Henry stood up and dusted his knees, slowly shaking his head. “Not yet. But many friends in our neighboring villages have been seeking refuge in our homes for that very reason. We fear our village may be next.”

“I beg you,” Margaret pleaded. “Put an end to this madness. Henry and I live alone – you can stay in our home if you like. Just, please, stop these bandits once and for all.”

Arthur turned around and raised an eyebrow towards the knights. “What do you say?”

“I wouldn’t mind a hot meal and a roof over my head,” Elyan said honestly.

The other knights nodded. “And if it helps with catching the bandits, definitely,” Leon added.

“Thank goodness,” Merlin said. “At least I won’t be having to cook dinner tonight.”

Arthur grinned. “Yes, we’re all very grateful for that.”

*~*~*~*~*

It turned out Henry and Margaret’s village was very small, no more than ten families. Seeing all the children running around before dusk and the closely spaced houses surrounded by farmland, Merlin’s heart couldn’t help but ache slightly for Ealdor. Camelot was wonderful, but there were times he missed his home dearly.

The house they were to stay in was the largest, right at the front of the village near the entrance to the woods. With a worn wooden table to eat at and a warm fire blazing in the hearth, the house could be described as nothing other than incredibly cozy.

Merlin’s stomach grumbled as Margaret kindly placed another rack of lamb on his plate. Looking around the table, it was clear everyone else felt the same way.

“Eat up, dear,” Margaret said sweetly. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

“Do you have anything to drink?” Gwaine asked. “Maybe some wine?”

Margaret furrowed her eyebrows. “I don’t think we have any wine left, but we may have some mead in the back that Henry brought home last night. Will that do?”

Gwaine’s face lit up. “Oh that will do _wonderfully_.”

“Alright,” Arthur said after Margaret had disappeared into the back room. “We ought to figure out a plan in case the bandits attack tonight. It is probably best to-”

A large crash echoed from the back room followed by an irritated grunt. Merlin watched as a broken jug rolled out the door, making its way towards the table.

“Henry, you idiot!” Margaret’s voice filled the house. “That was for the king and knights of Camelot! Would it kill you to use your brain once in a while?”

Henry let out a loud huff. “Like you would know!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well you certainly don’t use your brain on a daily basis, do you?”

Merlin bit back a laugh as Henry stomped out of the room, placing a smaller jug of mead in the middle of the table. “The large one broke,” he stated, making his way up the stairs. Margaret soon followed, leaving them out of earshot so they could burst into laughter.

After the laughter had died down Merlin scanned the table, confused to see that all the knights were eyeing him and Arthur.

“What?” he asked.

The knights exchanged a look. “Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it?”

Arthur crossed his arms. “What is?”

“They sound just like you two,” Lancelot pointed out.

Merlin’s face warmed and he was suddenly acutely aware of Arthur sitting right next to him, their arms nearly touching. He snuck a glance at Arthur, who was very obviously trying not to look at him.

“What are you talking about?” Arthur asked after a long moment of silence. “They’re married.”

“Yeah, but they still sound like you,” Gwaine defended, downing another cup of mead. “As a matter of fact, I remember you both having a similar conversation last week.”

Leon nodded. “On the training field,” he added helpfully.

“You all are crazy,” Merlin said. “They sound nothing like us.”

But he couldn’t help wondering for the rest of the evening, every time Arthur’s eyes met his, if they had a point. Bickering like an old married couple… surely, they were exaggerating things. Whether there was truth to the statement or not, it didn’t stop the quickening pace of Merlin’s heart every time Arthur gave him a soft smile.

*~*~*~*~*

“Do you think they’re right?”

The words had left Merlin’s mouth so softly, he wasn’t sure Arthur had even heard them. But as he tightened the king’s chest plate straps and let his hands momentarily linger on his shoulders, he felt them stiffen.

Another moment passed before Arthur let out a quiet sigh. “About the bickering?”

“Yeah.”

Arthur slowly turned around, his eyes meeting Merlin’s in an impossibly intense gaze. Just before Merlin was about to tear his eyes away to grab Arthur’s shield, he gently took his hand and pulled him forward.

“Well, you are an incredibly incompetent servant,” Arthur teased, his lips quirking up into a smile. “I’m honestly not quite sure what you _are_ good at.”

He was standing closer now, his breath warm on Merlin’s neck. Merlin’s heart pounded loudly, threatening to burst out of his chest as he stammered a response. “Only a servant like me could serve an equally incompetent dollophead.”

“You’re right, Merlin,” Arthur whispered. “No one else could serve me as you do.”

Tenderly, Arthur grabbed the collar of Merlin’s tunic and tugged him closer, effectively silencing any response he could shoot back. He gently pressed his lips against Merlin’s, asking for permission which Merlin granted readily. Just as Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur’s neck to deepen the kiss, a voice came from the doorway.

“Hey, are we ready to go fight some- oops sorry!”

Gwaine let out a booming laugh. “Can we call them a married couple now?”

Merlin slowly stepped away from Arthur as Elyan grabbed Gwaine’s arm. “Stop interrupting them!” he chided.

Arthur cleared his throat loudly. “Not a word,” he ordered, holding out his sword threateningly. “We’ll meet you all outside the house.”

The knights awkwardly shuffled out of the room, leaving Merlin and Arthur alone once more. Merlin couldn’t help the large smile growing on his face when Arthur fondly placed another kiss on his lips.

“I suppose there is one thing you’re good at.”


End file.
